Won’t Your Wife Be Furious?

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked.

“No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the man said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked.

“Are you NUTS!” he cried. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!”

“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?”

I replied, “Don’t worry. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.”

Related Posts

Superyacht Crewmember, 20, Killed Aboard Luxury Boat

A South African woman working on a luxury superyacht in the Bahamas was found dead just days before her 21st birthday — and police say she was…

Disgraced rockstar Ian Watkins ‘predicted his own death’ before fatal prison attack

Disgraced former rockstar Ian Watkins ‘predicted’ his own death in prison some years before he was murdered. On the morning of October 11, Watkins, who rose to…

Rescuer who found Diane Keaton on the floor shared four words — and it’s chilling

Hollywood is in mourning following the heartbreaking death of Oscar-winning legend Diane Keaton, who was rushed from her Los Angeles home by ambulance early Saturday morning. Taken…

The tragic reason Diane Keaton always wore hats and covered neck in public

For decades, Diane Keaton captivated Hollywood with her wit, talent, and unmistakable style. But behind her iconic wardrobe of turtlenecks, wide-brimmed hats and perfectly tailored layers, was…

Diane Keaton put her dream house up for sale just months before her death

Diane Keaton loved architecture and design. She spent years renovating her “dream house” in Sullivan Canyon, but earlier this year, she put it on the market for…

THE COUPLE WHO BROKE THE INTERNET — AND ALL THE RULEs

Some couples get attention for their outfits. Others, for their travel photos. But this pair? They went viral simply by standing together — proving that love has…