Riley Gaines Turns Down $3 Million Partnership With Nike: “I’m Not Saving Your Woke Brand”

Riley Gaines says she could really use the money but there’s no she’s going to take it from Nike.

“I’m not saving your woke brand,” Gaines said on Joe Rogan’s podcast, “they need true stars like me to put the shame of yet another trans person who steals from women.”

Riley was on her way to greatness when along came a swimmer with an incredibly long wingspan and muscles developed far past the typical female to steal her spot.

The swimmer was Lia Thomas, the biological male who swam to glory as a woman, leaving women like Riley to pick up the pieces and move on.

Without that fateful day, The entire world would have known the name, Riley Gaines. She would have taken 5th place in her event instead of tying for 5th in an NCAA women’s swimming event, ensuring her fame and fortune.

“I was robbed,” Gaines told anyone who would listen until someone finally figured out she’s perfect tater food, “and I had to see Thomas’ male genitals.” It’s her willingness to be open about her experience and confidence that men on the right will listen to her because she says buzzwords and qualifies as basically attractive.

“She’s the next Tomi Lahren,” said Joe Barron, who doesn’t need a title for this one, “all she needs is some plastic surgery. Her eyes are too close together.”

Related Posts

Jay Leno

The man who once measured his worth in ratings and punchlines now measures it in quiet mornings, doctor’s visits, and legal documents signed behind closed doors. Jay…

Retired South Carolina couple found dead in their home as police shares update

Larry Moore & Sandra Moore. Credit: Facebook/Calvary Church A longtime married couple has been found dead in their home in South Carolina. 76-year-old Larry Moore and his…

Donald Trump mocked for sending “creepy” email to his supporters

Donald Trump. Credit: Getty Images Donald Trump has raised eyebrows – and is even mocked – after he sent a fundraising email to his supporters. The email,…

Former CIA spy says he knows ‘true reason’ Trump wants to take over Greenland

Donald Trump really wants Greenland. But why? That’s the question puzzling politicians, analysts, and critics alike — and fueling endless speculation. Now, a former CIA spy is…

Émilie Dequenne Remembered: A Quiet Force in Modern Cinema

The news of the passing of Émilie Dequenne at the age of 43 has cast a quiet sadness over the film world. Known for her emotional intelligence and understated…

How to Freeze Bread the Right Way (So It Still Tastes Fresh Later)

In busy households, bread seems to disappear as quickly as it’s brought home. Buying extra during sales and freezing it is a smart way to save money…