Riley Gaines Files $2 Million Suit Against Lia Thomas: “She Took Everything From Me”

University of Kentucky swimmer Riley Gaines was recently accosted by liberals when she went to testify about her experience competing against biological male Lia Thomas. Since then, Thomas has fired back, calling Gaines an “entitled Little Brat.”

Gaines has more class than to respond to those personal attacks, so she instead told her lawyers to move up the timeline of her impending lawsuit. Gaines is suing Thomas for $2 million citing personal pain and suffering and future financial gains due to fraud.

Thomas responded by posting a video to TikTok of herself mooning Gaines, showing that her hormone treatments haven’t quite compensated for the amount of hair around her bunghole. “That makes it so much funnier,” said Thomas.

Gaines secured Thomas Bagger as her personal attorney and intends to call every swimmer in the pool that day. “Thomas stole more than just the race. She stole a moment I worked for all my life.”

Thomas replied through her spokesman, Joe Barron, telling reporters that she’s really sorry about that. “Not about the tie,” said Thiomas, “I earned that. I’m talking about your big moment being a 5th-place finish in a single event at a National Championship. Honey until yesterday, I didn’t even know your name.”

Thomas says she plans to laugh the whole thing off while her attorney has the case dismissed.

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