Publix Drops Ben and Jerry’s “For the Good of Our Kids”

Ben and Jerry’s decided to join the Woke Train to Nowhere, and it has officially cost them big.

Publix CEO Joe Barron released a memo stating that the company, which is employee-owned and very family oriented, will no longer carry Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream products.

“They’ve engaged in a culture war, unfortunately, which is an inherently adult ideology,” said Barron, “but they sell…ice cream. Until we find a way to keep children away from ice cream, our stores won’t carry the brand.”

There are several other chains considering dropping Vermont’s most famous dessert, including Aldi, Food Lion, and Kroeger.

“We’re not really sure what their issue is,” said Ben, “all we did is stop advertising on Twitter. We haven’t added any satanic imagery to our products or anything, so…”

Barron responded that it’s the principle that matters. “If they don’t think it’s wrong to pander to groomers, that’s on them. Personally, I value free speech, as I know our employees do as well.”

The whole thing seems extremely unnecessary, but in the end, “go woke go broke” for the win. While the boycotts are doing little to nothing in the real world, Conservaturdia sure does believe it’s all crumbling to the ground. God Bless America.8

Related Posts

25 Pictures That Need A Second Lookss

Some amazing “trick” photos can be produced by combining ideal lighting with the right location at the right moment! A man in a nice swimsuit When bearded…

Raising Children in the Spotlight: What Celebrity Family Life Really Looks Like

Famous actors, musicians, athletes, and other public figures are often celebrated for their careers, but curiosity frequently extends to how they approach parenting. Across industries and cultures,…

What WD-40 Really Stands For—and Why Its Name Tells a Bigger Story

WD-40 is one of those products that seems to exist everywhere—tucked into garages, toolboxes, and kitchen drawers, ready for squeaky hinges or stubborn bolts. Most people know…

Why Some Tree Trunks Are Painted White—and Why It Matters

If you’ve ever noticed a tree with its trunk painted white and paused to wonder why, the answer is more practical than decorative. This simple technique has…

The Stranger on My Porch Who Brought My Son Home

Just before dawn, still groggy and reaching for the newspaper, I opened my front door and froze. A large biker lay slumped against it, injured and barely…

How to Make Perfectly Crispy Bacon—Without the Mess

There’s a special satisfaction in bacon that’s cooked just right: crisp at the edges, golden through the center, and full of flavor without excess grease. Yet stovetop…