He wins a prize for best toast of the night until his wife hears about it

John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night”

She said, “Oh, that’s great! And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life sitting in beside my wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She nodded and said, “Yes, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.

Related Posts

Mary Trump rips into uncle Donald as ‘cognitive decline’ fears grow

Mary Trump has been one of the most vocal critics of President Donald Trump — her uncle. Mary is the daughter of the president’s late brother Frank…

Our Neighbor Had Our Cars Towed

Lindsey smiled smugly as our cars were towed, clearly thinking she’d won some petty HOA war. Jack and I had just moved into the rental for a…

Deadly Floods Devastate New Mexico and Texas, Leaving Communities in Mourning

The mountain town of Ruidoso, New Mexico, still recovering from last year’s wildfires, was hit with catastrophic flash floods on June 8. Torrential rains triggered severe flooding,…

Can You Spot the Difference? This Puzzle Is Sneakier Than You’d Expect!

Are you ready for a fun and challenging brain teaser? This quick little game is designed to test your attention to detail and patience—and might even give…

I Babysat My Grandson for the Weekend

When my daughter-in-law Lila asked me to babysit my grandson for the weekend, I expected giggles and gratitude—not a bill. She was off to a spa retreat,…

Mom Hosted Dinner Every Sunday Until One Week She Texted, ‘Please Don’t Come Today’ — I Rushed over and Screamed When I Opened the Door

When Mom canceled Sunday dinner with a cold, short text, we knew something was wrong. She never missed a dinner — not once in the three years…