The public fascination with First Lady Melania Trump will probably never fade, and while the media never seems to get enough of her and her life, she tends to keep things private and stay out of the spotlight as much as possible, despite being married to the president of the United States and one of the world’s most influential business moguls.

Over the years, there has been plenty of speculation regarding Melania’s marriage to Trump, with many claiming that she’s “trapped” in the relationship. However, according to those who worked alongside Melania, most notably her former Chief of Staff, Stephanie Grisham, and her long-time friend and adviser, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, the former model was well aware who she was marrying.

In her memoir, I’ll Take Your Questions Now, and in subsequent interviews, Grisham emphasized that public scandals do not shock the former First Lady. Asked how Melania handled the barrage of legal headlines and personal controversies surrounding her husband, Grisham noted that Melania “absolutely knows who he is.” According to her, Melania has never been naive about Donald Trump’s past or personality, and new revelations do not really affect the nature of their partnership.

“She knew what she was getting into. She may have been concerned about how it affected his future image, but she wasn’t going anywhere,” Grisham said.

During his testimony at the hush-money trial, Donald Trump’s former fixer Michael Cohen claimed that Trump wasn’t worried about how Melania would react if the Stormy Daniels story broke. According to Cohen, Trump dismissively brushed off the potential fallout by asking, “How long do you think I’ll be on the market for? Not long.”

Stephanie Grisham gave her insight on the comment, saying, “I think that comment [from Trump] to Cohen rang absolutely true. She’s happy, she’s got a very good life. She’s not going anywhere; that’s been proven. And so I absolutely believe he said something like that to Michael Cohen.”

In her 2020 book, Melania and Me: The Rise and Fall of My Friendship with the First Lady, Wolkoff described the Trump marriage as distinctly transactional. Wolkoff, who managed the 2017 presidential inauguration and served as a senior adviser in the East Wing, countered the popular narrative that Melania is miserable.

Wolkoff wrote that Melania views her role and her marriage through a lens of strict pragmatism. The marriage provides her with an elite lifestyle, financial security, and a global platform—assets she is fiercely protective of, especially regarding the future and inheritance of her son, Barron. Wolkoff argued that applying traditional emotional expectations to the Trumps misses the point: the relationship is built on mutual utility, not conventional romance.

Author Michael Wolff, however, doesn’t really agree. In All or Nothing, Wolff cites a source claiming that Melania lacks affection for her husband and prefers not to live near him.

“She f***ing hates him”, a “Mar-a-Lago patio confidant,” the source was said to have told Wolff.

The First Lady herself always presents herself as an individual, not just Trump’s wife. In an interview with Fox she said she often gives her husband advice, but he doesn’t listen.

“Maybe some people see me as just a wife of the President, but I’m standing on my own two feet, independent, I have my own thoughts, I have my own ‘yes’ and ‘no,’” Melania said.

“I don’t always agree [with] what my husband is saying or doing, and that’s ok. I give him my advice, and sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn’t.”