An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun. The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks her with a smile: “What’s the rush? “I’m late for work.” “Sure,” says the officer, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectal distender. “A what? A rectal distender? And what is that, exactly? “Well, you see, I start by putting a finger in, then another, then I work up to three fingers, four fingers, until the whole hand is in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely I extend the rectum, until it’s about 6 feet wide. “And what the hell do you do with a 6 feet asshole? “Give him a speed gun and put him by the side of the road.”
Related Posts
They will replay those four hours for years. The cold trail begins not with a scream, but with silence: a pacemaker drifting out of range, a watch…
In times of uncertainty, it’s natural to pause and reflect on the shared humanity that connects us all. Messages of support for Joe Biden have emerged as a reminder…
For months, Courtney Liniewski tried to push through symptoms that didn’t quite make sense. The pain in her back felt easy to explain away. The changes in her hearing,…
Regular checkups are one of the most reliable ways to stay on top of your health, but your body can also offer small, everyday clues worth noticing….
It’s common to notice more hair shedding during the colder months, and many people assume it’s just part of the seasonal cycle. While changes in weather can…
Heartbreak, hunger, and cold had stripped Sean down to almost nothing. The job was gone. The house was gone. The woman whose laugh once warmed his evenings…