An old lady is speeding down a highway

An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun. The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks her with a smile: “What’s the rush? “I’m late for work.” “Sure,” says the officer, “What do you do?”

“I’m a rectal distender. “A what? A rectal distender? And what is that, exactly? “Well, you see, I start by putting a finger in, then another, then I work up to three fingers, four fingers, until the whole hand is in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely I extend the rectum, until it’s about 6 feet wide. “And what the hell do you do with a 6 feet asshole? “Give him a speed gun and put him by the side of the road.”

Related Posts

Social Security Announces New Cost-of-Living Adjustment (COLA) Checks – What You Need to Know

For more than 70 million Americans, the 2025 COLA will quietly reshape monthly budgets. Retirees will see average benefits rise to around $1,790, with larger checks for…

The search for the missing young woman ends, she was found with a m… See more

The discovery of Carolina and Luiza closed one chapter but opened another, more complex one. Relief washed over their family, yet it came mixed with confusion and…

Over $1.3 million raised for hero who tackled gunman during Bondi Beach terror attack

The horrific terror attack at Bondi Beach in Sydney on Sunday has sent shockwaves around the world. At the same time, attention has also turned to an…

Trump Tells Schumer ‘Go to Hell’ After Senate Dems Block His Nominees

Trump’s public broadside at Schumer wasn’t just an outburst; it was a deliberate signal that he would rather let Washington freeze than bow to Democratic demands. Schumer,…

Congress Draws A Quiet Line

He arrived in Washington with a target on his back and a city on his shoulders. In the West Wing, every polite question about budgets and grants…

Judges Vanish, Cases Explode

They weren’t just names on a roster; they were the last thin line between terrified families and a system increasingly calibrated for denial. These judges had histories…