Won’t Your Wife Be Furious?

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.

“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I asked.

“No, I don’t waste time fishing,” the man said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on hunting equipment?” I asked.

“Are you NUTS!” he cried. “I haven’t gone hunting in 20 years!”

“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”

The homeless man was astounded. “Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that?”

I replied, “Don’t worry. It’s important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting.”

Related Posts

After a tough divorce, Kevin Costner, 67, found love again—And you might know her

Kevin Costner has always spoken of his now ex-wife Christine Baumgartner with fondness so the news of them divorcing after 19 years of marriage came as a…

King Charles’ ‘brutal’ decision after Prince Harry crossed ‘red line’

Prince Harry, King Charles. Credit: Getty Images King Charles and Prince Harry’s father-son relationship went down the drain as the Duke released his Spare memoir. Among many shocking revelations,…

Expert explains what it means if your poop sticks to toilet bowl and when to be concerned

Credit: Shutterstock.com We’ve all been there. After doing what you had to do in the bathroom and flushing, there is still a brown streak on the bowl….

The Quiet Courage That Helped an Eight-Year-Old Shape His Own Future

The courtroom that morning felt unusually still — the kind of quiet that amplifies every shuffle, whisper, and breath. I sat on one side of the room,…

Taylor Swift Postpones Chicago Eras Tour Stop Amid Health Concerns

Chicago fans gearing up for a night of music and nostalgia were met with unexpected news when Taylor Swift announced a sudden delay of her scheduled Eras…

The Lottery Ticket That Helped a Mother Rebuild Her Life

When my thirty-year marriage ended, I never imagined I’d end up sleeping on my son’s foldout couch, quietly trying not to take up space. Marvin and his…