An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun. The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks her with a smile: “What’s the rush? “I’m late for work.” “Sure,” says the officer, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectal distender. “A what? A rectal distender? And what is that, exactly? “Well, you see, I start by putting a finger in, then another, then I work up to three fingers, four fingers, until the whole hand is in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely I extend the rectum, until it’s about 6 feet wide. “And what the hell do you do with a 6 feet asshole? “Give him a speed gun and put him by the side of the road.”
Related Posts
Can You Trust Your Eyes? 15 Optical Illusions That’ll Trick Your Brain
Have you ever looked at a picture and found yourself blinking, squinting, or tilting your head, desperately trying to make sense of what you’re seeing? If you’ve…
When a Simple Bread Reminder Turns into an Unexpected Plot Twist!
Wife: “Honey, don’t forget to buy BREAD when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie greets you.” Husband: “Who is Valerie?” Wife: “Nobody, I just…
How to Tell If Your Eggs Are Still Fresh Eggs
I Noticed That Money Was Disappearing from Our Family Stash — I Was Shocked When I Found Out Who Was Taking It Judy’s family develops the practice…
How to Tell If An Egg Has Gone Bad
How to Tell If Your Eggs Are Still Fresh Eggs are essential in many recipes, but using spoiled ones can ruin a dish—or worse, make you sick….
“This recipe feels like it came straight from heaven. It’s almos…
A dessert that truly has it all—this Pecan Cheesecake Pie is the ultimate indulgence. It marries the creamy, luxurious texture of classic cheesecake with the rich, nutty…
WE PACKED THE CAR FOR A GIRLS’ WEEKEND—BUT I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE
I wasn’t even invited, not officially. My sister Salome just texted the night before like, “If you’re free, we’ve got room in the car.” I said yes…