People are coming out as “Demisexual” – here’s what it means

It can difficult, if not impossible to keep up with the glossary of changing words relating to sex and sexuality.

Graysexual“, “Abrosexual“, and “Almondsexual” are just three examples of terms we’ve written about here at Newsner, terms that we didn’t have much of a clue about before we decided to dig deeper.

Call it a sign of the times, perhaps, but it seems like there are new ways, new labels for one to define their experiences of attraction being created all the time.

Now, let me stress that I don’t have anything specifically against this. I’m not some grumpy curmudgeon resisting change and vehemently complaining because things aren’t exactly the way they used to be.

That said, it can all get a bit confusing. At the moment it seems like there are so many ways for people to identify, such a large spectrum of words with which to describe one’s sexuality and attraction, that it’s impossible to keep track.

Which is why we’ve taken it upon ourselves to clarify matters wherever possible, and we why we – as a result – decided to provide some more information of what being ‘Demisexual’ means.

Now, unlike certain other terms (“Almondsexual“, we’re looking at you), you may have actually come across demisexuality before. British singer Tulisa Contostavlos made headlines after opening up about her identity in 2024 while on the show I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! 

The former X Factor judge revealed to her campmates then that she identified as demisexual.

But what does it mean?

Well, Tulisa explained that she only feels sexual attraction when she forms a deep emotional connection with someone.

According to BBC News, she said: “For me, it’s all about the connection and the emotions that I feel with someone and then wanting to express them in that way.”

“I need actual depth…” she added. “I’m a slow, slow burner.”

As per reports, demisexuality is a sexual orientation used to describe people who only experience sexual attraction after developing a close emotional bond with someone.

A by-product of this is that the resulting connection tends to be rooted in personality and trust, rather than more stereotypical factors such as appearance, scent and voice.

Demisexuals usually don’t feel drawn to strangers or casual encounters, which can make dating difficult, for obvious reasons. Not only that, but one imagines it might be even more painful than usual if things don’t work out.

Had you heard the term ‘demisexual’ before? Let us know in the comments.

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