70-Year-Old Widow Posts A Newspaper Ad To Find A Husband

If you stop to think about someone who is ‘old’, what age comes to mind. This is an interesting question because that age continues to grow as we get closer to it. When we are in our teens, we might think that someone in their 30s is old but when we are in our 50s, someone in their 70s is still fairly young. There is a misconception that many people have about ‘old’ people and that is that when you get old, you lose out on the spice of life. This 70-year-old widow posted an ad for a husband in the newspaper and blows that theory out of the water.

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again… She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you – you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Related Posts

Beloved ‘Days of Our Lives’ and ‘Melrose Place’ Actor Dies at 57

Patrick Muldoon, the beloved actor widely recognized for his memorable roles in Days of Our Lives, Melrose Place, and Starship Troopers, has tragically passed away at the…

10 Minutes ago in Arizona, Savannah Guthrie was confirmed as.

For investigators, identifying a person of interest marks a fragile turning point, not a victory. Detectives are sifting through surveillance footage, digital trails, forensic evidence, and long-guarded…

Quick Kitchen Hack: How to Soften Onions in Minutes Using Your Microwave

When time is tight and you still want your meals to taste well-prepared, small shortcuts can make a big difference. One of the easiest ways to speed…

When the Sea Plays Tricks: Turning Fear into Understanding on a Beach Walk

It doesn’t take much for an ordinary moment to feel unsettling—especially by the water, where unfamiliar shapes and shifting light can distort what we think we see….

Blood Blisters Explained: Causes, Care, and When to Pay Attention

A blood blister can look alarming the first time you notice one. Its deep red or purplish color, sitting just beneath the skin, often appears suddenly and…

When the Ordinary Feels Off: How to Handle Strange Discoveries at Home

It’s surprising how quickly a small, unfamiliar object can disrupt a sense of comfort—especially in a place as routine as a bathroom. Something out of place, even…