70-Year-Old Widow Posts A Newspaper Ad To Find A Husband

If you stop to think about someone who is ‘old’, what age comes to mind. This is an interesting question because that age continues to grow as we get closer to it. When we are in our teens, we might think that someone in their 30s is old but when we are in our 50s, someone in their 70s is still fairly young. There is a misconception that many people have about ‘old’ people and that is that when you get old, you lose out on the spice of life. This 70-year-old widow posted an ad for a husband in the newspaper and blows that theory out of the water.

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again… She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you – you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Related Posts

Raising Children in the Spotlight: What Celebrity Family Life Really Looks Like

Famous actors, musicians, athletes, and other public figures are often celebrated for their careers, but curiosity frequently extends to how they approach parenting. Across industries and cultures,…

What WD-40 Really Stands For—and Why Its Name Tells a Bigger Story

WD-40 is one of those products that seems to exist everywhere—tucked into garages, toolboxes, and kitchen drawers, ready for squeaky hinges or stubborn bolts. Most people know…

Why Some Tree Trunks Are Painted White—and Why It Matters

If you’ve ever noticed a tree with its trunk painted white and paused to wonder why, the answer is more practical than decorative. This simple technique has…

The Stranger on My Porch Who Brought My Son Home

Just before dawn, still groggy and reaching for the newspaper, I opened my front door and froze. A large biker lay slumped against it, injured and barely…

How to Make Perfectly Crispy Bacon—Without the Mess

There’s a special satisfaction in bacon that’s cooked just right: crisp at the edges, golden through the center, and full of flavor without excess grease. Yet stovetop…

The Day I Stopped Apologizing for Surviving

I was running on fumes when my husband laughed and said I looked like I’d “just rolled out of bed.” Three children, sleepless nights, and a house…